I was going to say it was a good one. But, I need to say it isn’t anymore. I am so mad at myself because of it too! I need to explain I guess. So, I woke up and when I came downstairs and turned on my computer to get ready to do my posting for this morning I went to my Facebook page because I needed to post something on one of my pages. I saw that I had a couple of notifications waiting for me. One was from a schoolmate about my school. It is time for my 25th school reunion.
25 years already! I can’t believe it has been that long already! I will tell you I have not been to a single school reunion. I hate all my classmates, I have no one there that I like. They didn’t like me much after I came in at the 4th grade. I was never part of any little clique. They liked to tease me after I was adopted, so there is no love loss there. So, I went to the page to see when it was. I was thinking yea it is 25 years why not! Then I saw who was trying to organize it and who might be going already. Out of the people who might be going I got a panic attack. Let me show you something I found about a panic attack this is how it was 100%:
It was all over 1 person, one person that I thought I let go of. I forgiven this person on what they had done to me while I was in high school. I gave it over to God, I promise you I have. But, as soon as I saw that this certain person was going to the reunion that is how I felt.
Why is this person still effecting me? How do I get over it? I don’t know what to do! Yes, of course this person made my last 2 years of high school a living hell! They made me look over my shoulder, they made me lie to my mom a lot! I even got grounded because of this person. I feel like I’m a kid again! I am totally freaking out because of this! I want to go to the reunion but I don’t know if I could handle it. Then they will ALL see me rolling up in my wheelchair! OMG! That would be horrible! My mind is so messed up because of this.
How can 1 thing mess someone up so bad? They want to have it during Thanksgiving that would be good we could go home for the holidays. I haven’t been home in about 2 years. So, good can come out of it.
Thank you for letting me vent like this. I am still up in arms so please pray about it with me as we make a decision. Thanks!