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MercyMe Even If

Hello all!

What a beautiful song that is. I saw it last night and I saw the testimony for it, and it tugged at my heart and I wanted to share the song with you all. MercyMe is one of my favorite bands, I should share songs more often with you guys. I relate a lot of emotions with songs and I love listening to music, there is always some type of music on in the house at all times.

As I was listening to the song I can relate with it. The song brings me back to 10 years ago when I got my nerve damage. When I walked into an Army hospital in Fort Bliss, TX and rolled out 1 month later from a rehab center. I had to relearn to walk and relearn how to use my hands and get strength back into my hands. I never understood why God decided that it was a good idea to take away my ability to walk, my ability to use my hands. It took my 2 years to relearn how to walk, took about a month to get back my hands, but I still don’t have all the strength in them and I have nerve damage in my left hand.

The doctor’s still to this day cannot find my nerve damage. They all agree that I have it, but no clue where it is. So, I know you’re wondering how I got it. Well, I guess I should tell you. I don’t like telling people because then they look at me with pity! They start looking and acting different around me. I just hate that, it bothers me so very much. But, since this is online I guess I don’t need to worry about that do I?

On October 22, 2007 I went in for surgery to get a hysterectomy. I went in for 5 am and the surgery was supposed to be for only 3 hours long. My husband went back home to be with the kids and make sure that they were ok. The hospital said that they would call him as soon as I was out of surgery. We only lived right down the road since we lived on post. It would only take him 5 mins tops to get there and it would give me time to wake up before he got there. Before he knew it was 5 pm at night and no one had called him to let him know I was out of surgery so he booked it up to the hospital and started asking questions. They then told him they were just about ready to call him to tell him I just came out of surgery. Needless to say, there was some complications during the surgery I had almost died on the table. My doctor had cut my major artery while doing the surgery and I had lost over 4 pints of blood while on the table. During that time something happened and I lost all functions of my anything from the waist down. My arms and hands did what they wanted, if I tried to do something with them they did the opposite of it. Come to find out that my tumor was much bigger than first thought. I had a lot of bad days. That is where that song brings me.

stagnant-11

So, time for me to be honest with you guys! Bet you can’t guess what it’s going to be about by just looking at the picture above. It’s about being stagnant. That is me, stagnant! Stuck, not doing anything.

What is that all about? My walk with God, when I first started the blog I was reading the Bible and having my quiet time with God, now I’m not. It’s like I have let this blog consume me, consume my time. I use the blog as an excuse for me not to have my quiet time with God. I say “I will read some Bible verse, or talk about you, that should be enough.” But, is that truly enough? I know the answer to that. I know that is not enough I need to get back in the saddle again and get back to my quiet time.

I am going to do just that! I have 2 Bible studies that I am taking I told you about one yesterday, but I didn’t tell you about the other one because I didn’t think I made it in. I got conformation later in the day yesterday so I’m really excited about it. I am in an online Bible study called Thrive. I’m so excited about it.

Well, I am off for now! I will talk at you all later. Till tomorrow my friends!

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